A Cage Without a Key

An Origin of Conjecture
  • We start… where? A temple? Where?
  • Crazy statues, mutals of planes, alphabet of creation?
  • Vox reads infinately at the expense of helmets
  • Vox falls from rock grip. But he’s okay.
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Inner Demons
  • Mazed still.
  • Diamond room of trapping. Fixed it!
  • Circle room of trappin. Climbed it!
  • Statue room of rings. Solved it!
  • Adventures of Leon: Commander Pike!
  • Adventures of Cali: Fratricide!
  • Adventures of Vox: Memory Restored!
  • Adventures of Rowan: Burning House/Slavers!
  • The Great Maze Escape! Enter Seraph, the lantern archon.
  • Hmm. In the “deepe”. Inphira? Okay
  • Lots of portals here. 24. But we got this.
  • Were we going? Here zip zap.
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Count the Fucking Petals
  • We start on Afarit’s plateau of fire murder
  • Fire! Magma! Burny death!
  • Kill it with sharp things, magic, and stern words
  • The price. Eliza is dead. Like dead, dead.
  • Well fuck. Time to be sad about it.
  • Through the portal we go. Oh, straight to Rathbone’s house.
  • Fuck. Orid wasn’t a real Orid. He was a dick that opened lots of portals.
  • Lady of Pain: “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.”
  • Mazed!
  • Shifting tunnels, Rick faces, door gambling, parchment looking, key earning
  • More parchment looking, we found the map, found the map, found the map
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The Road to Hell
  • We started by going through the archway. Oh, a circle? Sand? Fuck. More of this.
  • Oh god. The party cannot catch a break we almost split up. Again. And then again.
  • Vox almost became a petitioner because he got too mad. But now he’s fine really.
  • Time to get out of Carceri. To the Abyss!
  • Sleep time. Somnambulent perambulance! Rowan, nooo! Eliza to the rescue.
  • More sleep, less sleepwalking.
  • Boat rides summon baphamet arms.
  • We un-baphamet and go on a whirlpool ride.
  • Oh damn, Chaos jungle of madness.
  • We have to get off the boat and enter the palace of the Abysm? Okay, I guess.
  • The Book of Vile Darkness what a pretty book.
  • Oh shit the gatekeeper! Run! Go mad! Betray! But win. Leon almost dead.
  • Alright Afarit. There’s an old dude. He’s on fire. Afarit wants us on fire too.
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Winning Hell
As much as possible
  • We woke up on the boat and gave Orid a call
  • Continuing down the Styx, a dude is like “Hey I’m on the boat now!”
  • We get to a crazy darude sandstorm and we’re totally paranoid about it.
  • Tents and bedrolls only do so much about RAZORSAND
  • SO. MUCH. RAZORSAND
  • Sand is done. Now we get mad at each other like really mad.
  • We were okay for a sec. But then gold hairless monkey happened. So not anymore.
  • But then we prison perilous’d. Man this is a crazy place like a molten crazy molten gold
  • Mechanus zombies? Sure. Fuck ’em
  • OH MY GOD IT’S ORIDSHIT IT’S A MORUT-TANK
  • FIGHT! MID-FIGHT ORID RELEASE! EXPLOSIONS!
  • WIN! ORID IS FREE! NOW LET’S FUCK OFF
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Why Even Bother?
  • Oh god where is Fell?
  • Maybe Sigil. How to Sigil? Hopeless might know.
  • No colors. No smiling. Or else you get the rocks.
  • We saved the rock-guy who didn’t get the memo.
  • Tavern! Kinda! Holy shit, Madam Fong? Tell us stuff!
  • She did, then left with Melori to the Well of Urd
  • Let’s stay in an inn. Or not. Let’s stay with chain wolf bro.
  • Chain wolf bro lives in room 1408
  • He let us go, surprisingly. To the grey wastes!
  • Let’s go! Wait. But we didn’t care much really though. This shit is stupid why even?
  • Coin guy lead us to the River Styx boatman summoned – boat party!
  • Oh it’s a bloody hand, oh, we care? Oh ambush? Nah they get rekt.
  • But Elisa fell into the river Styx. Rowan came through hard with a Wish of ages.
  • Let’s continue to Prison Perilous, sans tattoos!
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From One 'Hopeless' to Another
  • We start floating in the Deep Etheral like scrubs.
  • Soon we head towards Inphira, Sigil ’cept ball
  • Vox did NOT lead the group astray on the way
  • Inside! We met a dude! He took us to the elder!
  • Holy shit! Melori! Snake baby! Mmm!
  • Lots of similarities between this place and Sigil…
  • Turns out humans might predate this place!
  • Elder gives us a runestone to find realm of creation, sends us on our way
  • We found a Deck of Many Things. It broke us.
  • Eliza almost left. Lots of fighting. Is Orid who he says he is? Do we even party?
  • Things slowly got a little better.
  • We continued on. But navigation is hard. We had lots of trouble.
  • Eventually, after almost being sucked into Ravenloft we made it to the Piller of Creation. It told Cali where to go.
  • We found Fell’s maze! We broke him out with the power of tattoos!
  • Oh god, Fell can’t survive out of Sigil. Blood of Eliza to return to the Outlands.
  • We’re all here. Wait… where’s Fell?
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How to Overcome Legends
  • We start on the staircase. The music box melody changed!
    Vox magically knew where to go. Up!
  • People almost fell on a balance beam
  • We met Seth, the dangling planes walker. He agreed to show us where the iron room is!
  • While resting at the planes walker holdout camp query: What drives you?
  • Well, up the staircase… the Lady of Pain? Lumen Rathbone? Fuck me, the Beast!
  • We killed the Beast! Fuck.
  • We made it to the Iron Room, music box music changed, bag of devouring? Portable hole? Let’s defy all reason!
  • Oh DAMN. Deep ethereal… Voira?! Oh. You’re just a key converter.
  • New key fits in the music box. Song #3!
  • … Now what?
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Dragons to Ashes, Zaos to Dust
  • We continued on, led by Cara to the fountain of colory chaos
  • Well, Dysa wants sand from a dragon god realm. Fuck it, why not?
  • We decided to send in the laivbros. They wanted us to come. We were like “nah"
  • Off to the dragon realm! The hewn stone? Sure! We didn’t sleep there. Fear convo!
  • On our way travels we met a relimodi but we didn’t have time for that shit
  • Hellhounds have been sent for us
  • We dodged the hellhounds
  • During a sending attempt, Afarit read lines from his favorite storybook
  • We made it to dragon death guy place. He focked up Leon. But we got dust!
  • We left back to Zaos, it’s falling! Fuck! RUUUN!
  • We stripped for a window and were rewarded with stairs.
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Perplexing! Frightened! Excellent!
  • A mountain was birthed to just get in our fucking way.
  • We met a petitioner, he told us our alignment things
    We continued on, meeting four quadrons and the fucking inevitable
  • They put Vox under Ceas. Fucking Vox.
  • Leon fixed it though but now we have to kill Glip.
  • We made it to Zaos! The place is crazy. Crazy dope.
  • We met “Cara” in the Red Emerald, she might let us see Glip?
  • We got info on basement masked woman (Dysa) but then! Fight! Dead, dead, dead
  • Oh damn, Eliza is here! Eliza joins the party!
  • Off to see about Glip… we go! * He’s a big frog. He told us things. Good things.
  • Now to decide whether to tell the Quadrons…
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